Jodie
Know what I hate sometimes? Choices. There can be two perfectly good options in front of me, both equal when it comes to pros and cons, and I don't know what to do. I settle on a decision, wrap my fingers around the chosen, then stop. I can be like one of those master chessmen who stops in mid-move, fingers still on the pawn, rethinking everything I just did until I set the pawn down and pick up the rook instead. Uh, but was the pawn right after all? Maybe it's the pawn. Pick up that pawn, girl. Wait. Then again...

Unlike the chess master--who is contemplating his opponent's next 38 moves or something--I'm busy thinking, "What if this displeases God? What if it's against His will? What if I do this wrong and wind up in a wasteland somewhere? What if He punishes me because I chose unwisely? What if I miss the better one? What if I cause an earthquake in Outer Mongolia? What if..." You get the picture. It's the world's worst case of overthinking.

Actually, it's the world's worst case of no trust. Why's that? When I spend time in prayer and know I've heard from God, why do I let the devil come in and cause me to doubt? I doubt that I heard from God. I doubt that I heard right. I doubt His compassionate, merciful ability to hold back a lightning bolt of punishment and rage. I doubt that God can/will take care of me even if I make the wrong choice. In essence, I doubt that God is God when I do that double-minded waffle imitation.

Oh, to remember always and all the time that God is God and I am not! That He is bigger than everything, even bad (or simply wrong) decisions! Thank you, God, that you are, now and forevermore, Almighty, Holy, Compassionate, Loving God...

-JB
4 Responses


  1. Jennifer Says:

    I can so relate to this. In fact, I had my doublemindedness brought to my attention by God just this week. He basically whispered to my heart to "just make a decision." It would be okay. So I did. Our amazing God can still work it all to our good...


  2. Jodie Says:

    Jennifer, I hate that "overthinking" thing I do. I wish I could tattoo this on my arm or something and remember that He's always got me, even when I totally mess it up. It would make my life so much easier...

    THANKS!