Jodie
I have a question, and I want you to stop and think about it for a sec. Ready? Have you ever been raked over the coals by God? I have spent the past week getting an earful from Him and getting dragged across those coals.

Because I still battle pride. And surrender. Yep, there's more to come about surrender.

And it does not matter if you write, paint, crunch numbers, dig ditches, or build houses for a living, God wants to have control of that. Yeah, we know that, but really, do we give it to God and let Him have total control? Total control?

I think it was Monday of last week when I got the song "Lord, Reign in Me" stuck in my head. It's not that I've heard it recently and it got stuck; it just showed up one day. I've always kind of liked the song, so here I was be-bopping around the house singing it whenever it spun up in my skull.

So here I was in la-la land, singing away, when I got tripped up on the line, "Lord, reign in me... over all my dreams." Oh, yeah. Got it God. You reign over all my dreams. I dream to write these books that glorify you and, yep, you can take them wherever you want, publish them or not, I'm good with whatever. It's all yours. Yep. All yours. Uh-huh. Thumbs up. Gotcha.

And this is what He said: Uh, no. You are not okay with that. You think you are, but you aren't. Because what if I took your book and I picked it up and I put it down somewhere you don't like. What if I put your book out there but it's somewhere you've never even thought of going? What if it goes somewhere that seems contrary to everything I've shown you? (Not that He's doing that, He just got me thinking on it...)

Well, uh, okay? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized... I've got book dreams. Not necessarily to be published, but when I say, "God, take this book wherever you want it to go" I have ideas of where that might be. And what if I'm wrong?

I got a little 'tude. I wondered why He was asking me all of these things. And when I was cleaning the bathroom on Saturday (Yep, chores!), I threw down the rag I was cleaning the sink with and said, "Know what, God? This book, and Nate and Samantha in this book, are my babies. Shouldn't you ask for my approval?"

And do you know what He said? "Isaac."

He threw Abraham in my face. (Sort of.) Abraham had to take His son up on Mt. Moriah and tie him to an altar and pick up a knife and come within inches of that unthinkable sacrifice. This book is not my child in that flesh and blood sense, but God asked me if I was willing to lay it down on the altar and sacrifice it to Him. Wherever, whenever, whatever, however... Is it really and truly His to work with? Or does my mouth just like to say pretty words and pretend that it is?

As of Saturday afternoon, Going in Circles is truly on the altar. God can do whatever He wants with it, whether it is published or not, where it is published or not... It is not for my glory or my fame or my finances or even for my ministry... It belongs to God. Wherever, whenever, whatever, however He decides, that decision will be perfect, and He doesn't need me tainting it.

So, yes, "Lord, reign in me, reign in Your power over all my dreams, in my darkest hour. You are the Lord of all I am, so won't you reign in me again..."
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