"Hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute, wait a minute..." If your name is Laura, you can finish that quote--in private. :-) The rest of you are saying that because, if you've read this blog for long, you know one of the first posts on here (maybe even THE first post on here) was about this song. Hey, with me, songs can do double duty quite a bit.

In a lot of ways, I think God let Brandon Heath record "I'm Not Who I Was" just for me. A lot has come up in my life since the first time I heard this song. A lot of things that remind me of the past. A lot of things that let me know I'm not who I was back then anymore. For one thing, I wrote a book that dealt with some spiritual issues in my past. And before God would let me write the book, He took me back through a lot of it (inside of me) and made me let it go. I was holding onto some bad stuff sort of like a security blanket.

If you follow me on Twitter or have friended me on Facebook (and if not, why haven't you?), you may have seen a status update this past week: "Tripped on memory lane last night. Ouch. Thankfully, I didn't break my neck."

You should know this is one of those posts that's not for the squeamish. It's one of those "get real because somebody else may need to hear this" kind of posts. Let's just say you were warned. :-)

So... there are people in your past who should stay in your past. It's not necessarily that they are bad people, it's that you become a different person--a person you don't need to be--when you are with them. You become the person God delivered you from. I got a big ol' kick in the pants reminder of that this weekend.

It all started Sunday afternoon, when I was having a little bit of quiet time. For some reason, I wound up in my past (not for real, y'all. I'm not Marty McFly...) for a bit. God reminded me of something I did when I was much younger, something bad that He is now using for His glory. It's God's prerogative to use our bad for His good. He's God. He's good at that. Nothing gets wasted in His economy. But using something for His good does not mean the original something is no longer bad.

At any rate, sometime during God's using my Very Bad Thing, I sort of forgot how bad it was. God reminded me that it was bad. It was very, very bad and not to be taken lightly. I'm forgiven forever, but I should never take forgiveness for granted and I should never look back lightly on a sin. Ever.

Well, not four hours later, I logged onto my computer and there was that sin. It was right there. It was out of the blue and shocking and there. I had the opportunity to shake hands with it. And in truth, that handshake would have been perfectly innocent.

So, would I?

I'm forgiven, right? It's the past, right? I'm a different person, right? Right? I can wave a greeting at a sin and not get into trouble, right?

Uhm, wrong. Dancing with the devil is dancing with the devil, folks. You don't do it. At all. You don't smile at sin. You don't flirt with sin. You don't hold your hands up to your face and peek through your fingers at sin. You don't. You see it coming and you run the other way.

And you thank God for the people He has put in your life "for such a time as this," the ones who who know what you are going through and remind you of how hot the top of that stove is.

Know what? By the grace and the strength of God, I looked the other way.

And, why? Because, by the grace and the strength of God... I'm not who I was.

1 Response
  1. Great post, Jodie. I can't write anymore or it would be too long, so all I will say is "Amen."